The eyes needed to adjust to the dullness of the dingy room. The single window in the corner was dusty and blocked most of the sunlight from entering. The hand searched the uneven, cold wall for a light switch and clicked it on. A pale white light washed over the clutter that was the room.
A wooden table that had seen many years was pushed up against the small window. A few crumpled sheets of paper, a leather bound book, worn out with use and a pen lay on its scratched surface. The chair near the table was barely visible underneath the huge pile of clothes that were haphazardly thrown over it. A few bags and boxes lay on the yellow tiles, a thin film of dust covering them. Crushed wrappers, probably belonging to some edibles were strewn in an uneven manner. A tiny stove covered in oil and grime stood on a foldable rickety table next to a plate, spoon and glass. An unopened bottle of bright red sherbet seemed like a new addition there. Under the table was a pot darkened by soot and a pan that was missing a handle.
The feet stepped gingerly on the floor, avoiding the debris and then stopped in front of a sturdy but old wooden cupboard. The doors were slightly ajar. The hands reached out and opened the cupboard. The shelves were mostly bare, except for a few files and some old photographs. The palms turned cold as they clenched the brass knobs of the cupboard doors. Turning away without a second glance, the feet walked to the only wall that had a frame hanging on it. It was lopsided. The fading colours of the painting were barely visible through the dust.
There was an unmade bed in the remaining cramped space of the room. The gray sheets were pushed to a side and the pillows and mattress looked creased. Pain had left, leaving behind an eerie calm.
The feet walked to the door and clicked the light off before leaving.
I am taking my blog to the next level with Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa
I absolutely am fascinated by the effect you aimed to created through your writing,well crafted.
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Glad you could feel it!
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Now this is what I call a mood based writing piece. It’s so very descriptive that I could imagine myself in the room. The way you expressed the presence, added to the eerie and melancholy character of the room.
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Thanks Sona. You’re very observant
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Your writing has a kind of magic and keeps me hooked.
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Am so happy reading this comment!
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So beautiful written. I was visualizing each line, while reading. Amazing job done 👍🏻
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Visualizing! I want m writing to do that 🙂
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Loved every bit of it. Just the perfect description of every little detail . . .
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Thanks so much
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There are many things in life which we can neither want to keep nor can let go. Awesome piece.
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Exactly! Thanks for reading
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This musing writeup is quite catchy and holds you to read it till the end. This inspired me to write a short story myself.
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Thanks Judy, do share when you write
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Wow! I need to read this blog more often to help me improve my writing skills. Amazing way of writing. I loved how it kept me hooked. Keep it up. 🙂
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thanks Nazish
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That’s a well narrated story and I must say the writing is crisp yet detailing for all the necessary effects.
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Thanks Rohan
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Your each descriptive word made me more anxious to read the next line. Well crafted.
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Thank you! Glad it had the desired effect
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Well written, I could visualise everything through your words 😊👍
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Thank you🙂
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Every time I read any piece written by you, I am amazed with your magical words.
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Means a lot Gunjan
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amazing piece of writing
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Beautifully woven story. Keep writing …I love reading your posts.
#MyFriendAlexa #DiaryOfAnInsaneWriter
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Thanks Mayura
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Love the way you have written it, it is almost like I am there with you in the room
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Thanks Pooja
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What a beautiful post. I could visualise everything you wrote here. Great post
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So happy you could 🙂
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That was a great bit of visual story-telling Leha! Did the picture inspire the words or you found a picture to match your words, is the big question! 😉
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I found a picture to match the picture inside my head 🙂
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This was so beautiful Leha. And that line in the end…Pain had left. The entire imagery was awesome and to know that you were talking of the presence of something so abstract…It came as a surprise. I loved it!
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Am so glad you did Sonia
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I could visualise myself in that dingy room.. i could feel the eerie and I could see my fingers going upto that switch. U have the power of description. it looked as if i had been living in that room for ages and i knew every nook and corner of it. more power to ur pen Leha.
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Thanks a lot Supriti
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What an amazing description, I actually felt I was standing in the room myself. You have a great writing style. Glad to read the last line that pain has left… the room can again see the sunshine.
#PraGunReads #MyFriendAlexa
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Thanks Pragun, yes the sun has to rise 🙂
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You managed to create an undercurrent of fear and terror out of a simple narrative. Speaks volumes about your story telling skills.
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Thanks so much Jai
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omg…that’s such a spell-binding post and weaved such a magic on me that i could feel myself present in that very room and witnessing everything.
Awesome post 🙂
keep it up !
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Thank you! Glad you felt it
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This is a masterstroke of amazing writing. I could visualize wach and every sequence you have written here, Leha. The creaking sound of the door, dirtly laundry, lopsided frame, that old ajar cupboard. Great job.
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Thanks Dipika, that’s a lovely compliment
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The detailed description of the room has made it come live. I could visualize the room and the belongings as if seeing a picture. Lovely writing!
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You add that instant magic to your posts 🙂 Every small detail could be visualized 🙂
#MyFriendAlexa #vigorousreads
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That’s sweet of you Varsha 🙂
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I am going to ask my daughter to read your stories, Leha! It will be a great learning experience for her. You are very creative with your imagination.
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That’s so kind of you Aesha. I hope she enjoys reading 🙂
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