While the idea of what’s alluring in a person is subjective, there are certain qualities that have stood the test of time beyond cultural norms, modernity, advancement of technology and yada yada.

These qualities never fail to leave an impression. Here are some of my favourites:

Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is an undervalued skill. We put in effort to learn new things that will get us on the path to success which is really good, but we forget that emotional intelligence is strongly correlated with positive outcomes.

Working on recognizing, understanding and managing our own emotions as well as others’ will help us communicate better, build better relationships, excel at work, empathize with humanity and overall navigate through life smoothly.

How often have we heard of people being emotionally unavailable? More often than we’d have liked to hear, am afraid. I’ve even seen Instagram bios showing it off as if it were an earned title.

Maybe it’s time to give emotional intelligence a little more importance, in fact the same level of importance we give all other skills professionally and otherwise.

Authenticity and Vulnerability

This comes easy when we work on emotional intelligence. Being genuine and transparent in our thoughts and feelings come effortlessly when we’re not afraid to face our emotions. I know, we live in a world that’s constantly judging us and the thought of being genuine and daring to show our vulnerable side can be terrifying.

But we can always start small and start by first flaunting authenticity and vulnerability as our strengths (which they are) and not weaknesses.

Being vulnerable can be uncomfortable at first but with time we also learn to sit with that discomfort until one day it all comes easy for us.

Showing up

Dependability, reliability, commitment are all highly valued qualities in all walks of life. Simply put, if you make a promise, come through with it.

If you say you’ll make that call, do it, if you say you’ll go to your best friend’s party, do that. As an employee, show up for the team, if you’re a recruiter, let the interviewee know whether they made it or not, with answers that give closure, if you’re rejecting a proposal, show up and let them down easy

The list could go on, but to cut it short, ghosting, cancelling on people is not cool even as Instagram trends. We’ve got to remember they are people, real living beings.

(If there’s a genuine reason, we should of course be honest about that too. Communication is key)

Showing up tells a lot about ourselves. It shows we’re mature, responsible, it fosters respect, and overall makes us pretty darn sexy!

Choose to show up in personal and professional relationships, choose to show up in the world, and of course, don’t forget to show up for yourself too. There can be no bigger cheerleader than you.

Real conversations

That meme about how some people reply to long, well thought of messages with a mere ‘k’ is not just a meme. We’ve taken the ease of texting for granted. Either by doing the bare minimum or avoiding real talk by hiding behind texts.

We may all be good writers, but real conversations simply cannot happen over text. Confession of love, resolving a conflict, sharing grief: I get it, sometimes we find texting easier, but after a point conversations have to move out of texts to the real world.

I say this because I’ve seen a lot of people being completely okay with having friendships and relationships just over text, something I can’t quite wrap my head around.

Making plans, actually dressing up, meeting the people we care about, working on building strong and deep bonds will never ever go out of style.

Courtship over situationships and dating

I came across the term situationship quite recently and was just speechless. We in general hate ambiguity, uncertainty, lack of commitment.

Finding real relationships is hard as it is, yet we put ourselves through the ordeal of situationships, the term itself that screams all the above mentioned red flags. Nothing good could ever come out of something we can’t define.

We’ve also redefined dating and reduced it to a swipe on a screen. Romance has become uncool/too cheesy, being straightforward about our feelings is considered boring and so on and so forth.

Now, Alexa, play Ek Ajnabee Haseena Se…

What’s really sexy is the old school courtship. Taking the time to know someone, meeting families, friends, investing time and effort to build something purpose-driven based on love, respect, loyalty, mutual goals and values and of course, a whole lot of romance.

With that kind of foundation, a relationship working out all the way is certainly possible.

People are not tissues, nor are they clothes we try on and abandon in trial room floors.

Chivalry

Historically chivalry was associated with men, but now it is definitely not a gender-based quality. Simple things such as holding the door open for someone, saving a seat, offering your jacket or a scrunchie, stepping up when someone needs a little support, paying attention and really listening to conversations, speaking with empathy and thoughtfulness, all sound like basic things, but make a huge impression, trust me!

Overall being chivalrous is about treating people and animals alike with love and respect, and this is something we all deserve irrespective of gender.

Being inclusive

We all want to belong, feel safe and accepted for who we are. In the current world with an ocean of resources available to learn and evolve, we have no excuse to not practice inclusivity. Inclusivity is something that is applicable everywhere in different settings and contexts: when it comes to gender, sexuality, religion, at workplaces, educational spaces, public places, social media, etc.

If we want harmony and peace, for crying out loud, it should begin with us. Take charge, unlearn and relearn. It is a journey but the results are sweet.

There are a lot of qualities that could be added to this list such as loyalty, generosity, integrity, accountability and many more timeless traits that we can never go wrong with. They’re also interconnected like the ones on this list, each complementing the other, and together making us drop dead gorgeous.

*swoons*

This post is part of #BlogchatterA2Z

Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely based on my personal life experiences, and may not necessarily apply to your specific situation. This content is intended as a general guide rather than specific advice.